Tag Archives: trust yourself

Rule #4: Thou Shalt Embrace Change

Autumn at Lake Clara Meerphoto via fkehren

As the leaves on the trees start to change, it’s a good season to think about change in our own lives. My life has been one of twists and turns and almost zero consistency, so accepting change has never really been a problem in my own personal life. For me, it’s been adapt or fail at life. As a result, not many curveballs thrown my way catch me off guard, and resistance to surprise is a pretty good character trait to have. It will make you resilient, like the trees that shed their leaves in the fall but bounce back, full-force blooming in spring.

It drives me insane when people say, “Don’t ever change!” Really, really insane. A you’re-lucky-I-have-good-self-restraint-because-I-really-want-to-punch-you-in-the-face-right-now kind of insane. Life is change. Change is life. When you ask me not to change, you’re effectively asking me not to live.


Be The Change
photo via victius

There are two quotes I’ve held near and dear to my heart for a very long time. One is the quote above, and the other is a Buddhist saying: “Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. Compassion is necessary.” Change can definitely bring pain. But when it does, you have two options: mope; or go out and be the change. Embrace the change. To me, a fusion of the two quotes I love equals something like this:

“Change is inevitable, and sometimes painful. But when you accept both, you can move forward and you can begin to heal.”

That doesn’t mean we can’t question change. In fact, the book I Moved Your Cheese strongly suggests that we DO question change, as a sort of rebuttal to Who Moved My Cheese? (Both are very good, short reads, by the way. If you haven’t read them, it’s worth the 20-30 minutes it will take you to get through each one.) I agree with the idea we should question change. We don’t need to blindly move through life as the pawn of so-called “fate”. We can control our destiny. That doesn’t mean our path is obstacle free, but we do have the option of whether we’ll turn back around or figure out a way to get around that obstacle. The latter is more difficult, but it will move you toward your dreams.

My apologies for a shorter-than-normal post, but I’m being thrown a lot of curveballs at the moment and even though I rock at hitting every one of them out of the park, it’s still quite the workout.

Go forth and be okay with change.

xoxo,

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Rule #2: Thou Shalt Trust Thyself

Time for EDF Commandment Number Two: Thou Shalt Trust Thyself

Note to Self: "Just trust yourself, then you will know how to live." ~ Goethe

Time for a story. College, for me, was a 4-year train wreck. Every year I went back thinking it’d be an awesome year, and every year something(s) ended up happening that made it awful. Mono, swine flu, broken hearts, pets dying, relatives dying, fights, teachers ignorant of a thing called “your students have lives too, and sometimes their lives are hard” – you name it, it happened to me. My one source of relief, then and now, has been yoga.

At least four times a week I would sweat and move and flex out my problems on the mat. After a particularly rough day in the fall of my senior year, I high-tailed it to the studio as I had many times before, but I left the studio with a discovery: I didn’t trust myself.

I don’t know exactly what led to this revelation, but boy was it a revelation. It changed my life. It changed the way I saw everything around me. The next time I found myself in the middle of making a tough decision, or working through a fight, or dealing with loss, I stopped and asked myself, “What do I need right now?” And then I trusted that I knew what was best for me in that moment.

It’s important and necessary to ask for advice when you need it. Asking for advice shows you have humility; it shows you’re mature; it shows that you respect others’ opinions. But you have to remember that that’s exactly what advice is: opinions. And if someone’s advice doesn’t feel right to you, then no matter how much you respect that person, it’s probably not a good idea to follow their advice.

Simplicity is a tempting siren – it’s easy to do what we’re told. But that doesn’t mean it’s the right thing to do. Trust that you have the power to make your own decisions, that your advice to yourself is good advice, that sometimes you’re the only one who knows what you need.

As one of my yoga instructors once said,

“There are no wrong decisions. There are only decisions that lead you down different paths of life. Trust that in each moment, you are exactly where you are meant to be, doing exactly what you are meant to be doing.”

Namaste,

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